The forested canyons and rugged highlands of Arizona's Mogollon Rim have long been rumored to be a haven for the mysterious human-ape creature known as Bigfoot.
Sasquatch Sighted in Coconino National Forest! Locals go Loco.
Arizona's Oak Creek Canyon has been hit with yet another revolting and regrettable Bigfoot scare, as a lone Sasquatch was spotted loitering around the Call of the Canyon West Fork trail in Coconino National Forest.
"Dag gum it, it was totally Cuckoo in Coconino last week!", said an craggy canyon denizen old timer, "There I was, fixin' to go into that dern canyon gulch and catch me some rattlesnake fricassee, when that hairy critter ran right past me. Scared me and my mule near to death! I called it a day and went to Sedona for fish tacos instead."
Coconino Forest Federals remain quiet about the incident. "We know nothing, nothing!" said a local ranger. "We're monitoring the situation.... behind locked doors and armed with really nasty paint ball guns in case the beast returns. OK, it'd help if we had real guns, nets, and rancid food bait... we could organize a posse and catch the beast. But we don't want to frighten them pacifistic lucrative mystical crystal vortex suckers, er tourists. Those fools pay top dollar, believe me!"
"A similar beast was spotted earlier this year in the exact same area. Coincidence? I think not! How did the Bigfoot beast get there? Why did it return? When will it go away? Where is the beast's scat droppings? Who really cares? I smell a Sasquatch conspiracy, among other things. These are all questions which demand answers, darn it!"
As I am stuck in an apartment here in Shreveport Louisiana at least I aren't homeless right now but rest assured eventually I will be homeless again and when I am I am going to return to my forested home and hunt him down! Who Knows I may prove Big Foot Exists.
Yours for now Captain Hedges
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