Wrestling with Unbelief, Finding Forgiveness, and Praying Through the Darkness

 The world can be a dark place. We hear stories, and sometimes experience firsthand, the devastating impact of human cruelty. Evil predators inflict unimaginable pain, leaving individuals shattered and questioning everything. In the face of such darkness, the concepts of forgiveness and even belief in a loving God can feel impossibly distant. How do we reconcile the existence of such profound evil with the God of compassion we read about in Scripture? How can we even begin to consider forgiveness when the hurt feels so raw and the injustice so profound?

Lysa TerKeurst's book, "Forgiving What You Can't Forget," offers a lifeline in these turbulent waters. It doesn't offer easy answers, but it provides a framework for navigating the agonizing journey of forgiveness, even when our hearts scream in protest and unbelief feels like the only rational response.

The Battle with Unbelief:

When faced with the sheer horror of evil acts, it's natural to question God's presence, His power, and even His goodness. If He is truly loving and all-powerful, how could He allow such suffering? This wrestling with unbelief is a valid part of the human experience. The Psalms themselves are filled with cries of lament and questioning directed towards God in times of distress.

However, TerKeurst reminds us that our understanding is limited. We see through a glass darkly (1 Corinthians 13:12), while God sees the whole tapestry. Unbelief can feel like a fortress, but it's often built on our finite perspective. Prayer, even in the midst of doubt, can be a crack in that fortress, allowing a sliver of God's light to penetrate.

Finding the Path to Forgiveness (Even When It Feels Impossible):

"Forgiving What You Can't Forget" emphasizes that forgiveness isn't about condoning evil or pretending the hurt didn't happen. It's not about the offender deserving it. Instead, TerKeurst highlights that forgiveness is a process, a difficult journey we undertake for our own healing and freedom.

• Acknowledge the Hurt: The book stresses the importance of naming the pain, acknowledging the depth of the violation without minimizing it. Scripture echoes this in the Psalms, where pain is often laid bare before God.
• Separate Forgiveness from Reconciliation: TerKeurst clarifies that forgiveness is an internal act of releasing bitterness, while reconciliation requires both parties and may not always be safe or possible, especially in cases of abuse.
• Focus on Your Freedom: Holding onto unforgiveness binds us to the offender and the past. Forgiveness, though incredibly challenging, is the key to unlocking our own hearts and moving towards healing.
• Embrace Grace: Just as God extends unimaginable grace to us, we are called to extend grace to others, even those who have committed terrible acts. This isn't excusing their behavior, but recognizing our own need for grace and choosing a different path than bitterness (Ephesians 4:32).

The Power of Prayer in the Darkness:

Prayer becomes a vital lifeline when grappling with the aftermath of evil and the struggle to forgive. Even when unbelief feels strong, the act of crying out to God can be a first step towards healing.

• Lament: Like the psalmists, we can bring our raw pain, anger, and confusion before God. He can handle our difficult emotions. Psalm 22, for example, is a powerful cry of anguish.
• Confession: Confessing our own struggles with anger, bitterness, and unbelief opens the door for God's grace and healing.
• Seeking Strength: We can pray for God's strength to even consider forgiveness, acknowledging our own inability to do it on our own (Philippians 4:13).
• Praying for Justice: It's okay to pray for justice and for the protection of others. Our desire for what is right reflects God's own character.
• Praying for the Perpetrators (Difficult as it May Be): TerKeurst encourages us to pray for those who have hurt us, not to excuse their actions, but to release our own bitterness and open ourselves to God's transformative power.

Scriptural Comfort and Hope:

Even in the face of profound evil, Scripture offers glimmers of hope and reminders of God's ultimate sovereignty:

• Romans 12:19: "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord." This reminds us that justice ultimately belongs to God.  
• Psalm 34:18: "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." God draws near to those who are hurting.
• Revelation 21:4: "‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." This offers a future hope where evil and suffering will be no more.  

Conclusion:

Coping with the profound hurt caused by evil is a long and arduous journey. Unbelief may rear its head, and forgiveness may feel like an impossible mountain to climb. But through the principles offered in "Forgiving What You Can't Forget" and the enduring truths of Scripture, we can find a path forward. It begins with acknowledging the pain, honestly wrestling with our doubts in prayer, and taking small steps towards releasing bitterness for our own healing. While the darkness of evil may seem overwhelming, the light of God's love, grace, and ultimate justice remains our steadfast hope. We are not alone in our pain, and healing, though difficult, is possible through His strength.