the 6 am sports report by earl

🔔 EARL’S 6AM RINGSIDE REPORT: THE ROAD TO THE SUPER BOWL RUMBLE! 🔔

Posted by Earl | Friday, November 28, 2025 | 06:00 AM CST

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

Put down that cold turkey sandwich and wipe the sleep from your eyes because IT! IS! TIME!

We have officially survived Thanksgiving Thursday, and let me tell you something, brother—yesterday wasn’t just a slate of football games. It was a NO HOLDS BARRED, FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE STREET FIGHT! The playoff picture has been smashed over the head with a steel chair, and the bodies are hitting the floor!

We are Week 13 deep into this season, and we are witnessing a Battle Royal for the ages! You want to know who is standing tall and who is getting thrown over the top rope? Let’s get down to the mat!

🐴 IN THE RED CORNER: THE MILE HIGH MONSTERS!

The Denver Broncos (9-2)

THE CHAMPS ARE HERE! While the rest of the league is scrambling and clawing just to get a spot on the card, the Denver Broncos are sitting in the VIP box smoking cigars! At 9-2, they are the Heavyweight Champions of the AFC West! They aren’t just looking for a playoff spot; they are looking to lock up the Number One Seed and make the road to the title go through the thin air of the Rockies!

They are 96% locked in! This is the equivalent of The Undertaker at WrestleMania—they are nearly unbeatable! If you’re a Broncos fan, you aren’t sweating. You’re just waiting to see who is foolish enough to step into the ring with you in January!

🤠 THE MAIN EVENT SURVIVORS: THE DALLAS COWBOYS!

The Cowboys (6-5-1)

OH MY GOD! Did you see what happened yesterday?! The Dallas Cowboys walked into the ring against the Kansas City Chiefs—the supposed "Kings of the AFC"—and they hit them with a STONE COLD STUNNER!

Everyone counted them out! The pundits said they were washed up! But yesterday, America’s Team reached deep down, pulled out the brass knuckles, and stole the show! That win didn’t just feel good—it saved their career! Sitting at 6-5-1, that "Tie" on their record is the ultimate wildcard maneuver. They are currently the No. 9 seed, clawing at the ropes, looking to drag the Packers and Lions down to hell! They have the momentum, they have the heat, and suddenly, nobody wants a piece of Big D!

🦁 THE FATAL FOUR-WAY: THE BATTLE OF THE CATS!

Folks, we have a fatal four-way elimination match happening right now between the felines of the NFL, and it is absolute carnage!

1. The Jaguar Juggernaut (7-4): Jacksonville is the technical wrestler of the group! They are executing their game plan to perfection. Holding the No. 6 Seed, they have the sleeper hold locked in on the AFC. They are disciplined, they are dangerous, and right now, they are the Top Cat in the fed!

2. The Motor City Heartbreak (7-5): SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH! The Detroit Lions took a beating yesterday! They walked into the ring against Green Bay and got hit with a Superkick right to the chin! They fell out of the playoff spots and are lying on the canvas looking up at the lights! But don’t count them out yet! The Lions have the heart of a champion, and they are going to try to kip-up and get back in this fight before the bell rings!

3. The Carolina Claw (6-6): Carolina is lurking under the ring! At .500, they are waiting for the heavy hitters to knock each other out so they can slide in and steal the pin! It’s a long shot, folks! They need chaos! They need anarchy! But in the NFL, anything can happen!

4. The Bengal Berzerkers (4-8): BY GOD, THEY ARE BROKEN IN HALF! Cincinnati is battered, bruised, and bloody at 4-8. But wait... what’s this?! They just beat the Ravens?! The Bengals are swinging a barbed-wire bat at everyone! They might not win the title, but they are going to take someone down with them!

💀 THE JOBBER SQUAD

The Arizona Cardinals (3-8)

I hate to say it, Cards fans, but you’re getting squashed. You’re the guy they bring in just to make the other team look strong. The ref is counting... 1... 2... it’s almost over. The 3-8 record is a one-way ticket to "Loser Leaves Town." Start scouting the rookie draft class because this match is done!

🎙️ EARL’S FINAL CALL

The New York Giants have already been thrown over the top rope—they are eliminated! But for the Cowboys, the Lions, and the Broncos... the bell hasn't rung yet!

This weekend is going to be a slobber knocker! Buckle up, sports fans, because we are on the Road to the Super Bowl, and BUISNESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!

WOOOOOOO!

— Earl