The 3 AM Shadow: Me, Uncle Bill, and the Tobacco Monster

Introduction

The Hook: It started at 3 AM in the Shreveport Cabin with a knock-down-dragged-out argument that left the air feeling heavy, stagnant, and "unclean." The Problem: When friction between family peaks, you aren't just fighting—you’re feeding a monster born from the very pressure that's trying to break you. The Solution: This post explores the gritty reality of the Tobacco Monster, a Level 50 Champion Tier manifestation of the 30-ton pressure we face when the shadows start to whisper.

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The Shreveport Cabin: Where the Friction Begins

The morning didn't start with peace; it started with a look and a word that ignited a cycle of frustration. Me and Uncle Bill got into it again. It’s that raw, Shreveport reality where the walls feel like they’re closing in and the tobacco craving turns a man into a powder keg. This isn't just a disagreement—it's an atmosphere.

When you live in the "hour of whispers," 3 AM, the friction creates a heat that doesn't just burn; it ferments. Much like the rare Perique tobacco of St. James Parish, which is cured under the massive pressure of oak jacks for a year, our tempers were being pressed until they turned into something dark, spicy, and potent. I could feel the "unclean" energy rolling off the floorboards, a weight that made every breath feel like inhaling soot.

The Manifestation: An Inky Shape in the Corner

I saw it. As the argument reached its peak, I looked into the corner where the lamp light dies, and the shadow wasn't a shadow anymore. It was an inky, winged humanoid shape. Its lower body trailed off into nothingness, shifting like smoke in a draft. It wasn't a ghost—it was the Tobacco Monster.

This demon is a physical manifestation of the corruption that feeds on the air we breathe. It doesn't just stand there; it wraps around your shoulders like a heavy cloak, its smoky fingers digging into your pores to whisper directly into your blood. It acts as a 30-ton jack on your conscience, squeezing out your patience and replacing it with a fermented, demonic rage. I had to shove him, to break the physical contact of the argument, and leave the room just to get space to cool off.

The Victory of the Beast

But even with the distance, the friction had done its work. The monster had its hooks in deep. Eventually, the tension only broke when Uncle Bill finally got his damn cigarettes. The Tobacco Monster won out in the end, feeding on the craving until the smoke cleared the air. It’s a reminder that in the cabin, the "unclean" presence is patient—it knows exactly what it takes to get its fill.

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Bonus Material: The Tobacco Monster (MM 2.7 Champion Tier)

GM Notes: GMs may use this as a basis for their games and may change things to fit their games; this is just our version we use. In total darkness, this creature is an absolute nightmare—rely on its speed and psychic attacks to break the party's will.

The Stats of the Unclean

• Level: 50 (Champion Tier)

• Monster Rating (MR): 666

• Deadliness Rating: 5 (For MR 401–700)

• Attributes: ST: 10, CON: 20, SIZ: 10, IQ: 15, SPD: 20, DEX: 18, LK: 10.

• Armor Class: 4 points (Natural/Insubstantial). Drops to 0 in bright light.

Combat & Special Abilities

• Shadow Dart Missile: This is the monster’s primary missile attack. It deals 1d6 per level, meaning at Level 50, it hits for a staggering 50d6 damage. He can power it to the maximum for a world-shaking blast, but he must spend WIZ to fuel that cosmic power.

• Incorporeal Movement: The demon can pass through walls and solid matter as if they were difficult terrain. If it ends its turn inside an object, it takes damage to its CON.

• Shadow Stealth: In dim light, it can turn invisible as a bonus action, gaining a +4 combat adder.

• Consume Fear: Instead of physical damage, it can attack the target's psyche. The target must make a saving throw or lose 1d4 from a mental stat (IQ or Willpower).

• The Alluvial Squeeze: The monster condenses its smoke to pin a target to the ground as if they were being crushed by a 30-ton jack (L2 Saving Throw on STR to escape).

• Monster Chaos Factor: When a 12 is rolled on attack dice, the demon may temporarily possess a weak-willed creature, turning friends against each other.

• The Unclean Presence: Any tobacco, food, or drink within 10 feet is instantly turned to Void-Ash, fueling the frustration of the victims.

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Conclusion

Summary: The Tobacco Monster is an MR 666 powerhouse born from the real-life friction of a household in conflict. It is a Level 50 threat that uses psychic rends and 50d6 shadow darts to dismantle its enemies. Final Takeaway: When the air gets thick and the shadows start moving at 3 AM, the only way to win is to walk away, find your space, and break the cycle of the "unclean."

Call to Action (CTA)

Have you ever had a craving win the battle? Comment below and let me know how you keep the Tobacco Monster at bay in your own home.

Meta Description

A deep dive into the Tobacco Monster (MR 666), a Level 50 Champion Tier Shadow Demon for Monsters! Monsters! 2.7. Born from 3 AM friction in the Shreveport Cabin.

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Product Identity & Legal

The following items are designated Product Identity of Arthur Earl C. Hedges Jr. / The Adventures of Captain Hedges: The Tobacco Monster and the specific "Hedge Wizard of the Shreveport Cabin" persona.

Monsters! Monsters!, Starfaring, and Humans, Humans (1st Edition) are trademarks of Ken St. Andre and Troll Godfather Press and are used with permission. The Monastery of Zimrala (MoZ) is the official campaign setting created by Ken St. Andre, with our humble contributions acknowledged in the annals of the work. This work utilizes the Open D6 system; mechanics are Open Game Content under the OGL v1.0a. All rights to the Starfaring (1976) crystal mechanics are the sole property of Ken St. Andre. © 2026 Arthur Earl C. Hedges Jr. All rights reserved.