Year of the Snake Day 26: The Siege of the Sick Bay

By Captain Hedges

Star Date: 01262026.0755 Location: The Sick Bay (Living Room Couch), Shreveport Cabin Status: SYSTEM FAILURE / PERIMETER BREACHED

It is almost 0800 hours. The coffee is hot, but the Captain is running on auxiliary power.

If the website seems a little slow today, it’s because the Shreveport Cabin isn't just a writing studio right now. It is a war zone. I am currently fighting a multi-front battle against enemies both microscopic and "too big to squash."

I have been hit by the Void Sickness again. The temperature outside is freezing, and my personal defenses are down. But while I’m fighting the internal war, the external war has just breached the front door.

The Enemy Roster (The Legion of Doom)

Front 1: The Internal Saboteurs (My Body)

• The Snot-Bugs: They have set up concrete bunkers in my sinuses. Breathing is now a manual activity.

• The Bladder Mites: Guerilla tacticians that wait until I get warm under the blankets before hitting the "Evacuate" alarm.

Front 2: The Invasive Species (The Floor)

• The Bayou Roaches: In Louisiana, we don't call them bugs; we call them "Combatants." These things have an Armor Class of 20.

• The Bed Bug Assassins: The psychological warfare unit. I’m pretty sure they are just ghosts because I itch even when they aren't there.

Front 3: The Portal Breach (The Plumbing)

• The Alibugerian Hull-Breakers: We found Water Roaches and Spined Giant Beetles (native to Zambia?!) coming up the drains. My theory? The deep freeze scrambled the portal frequencies. We are now connected directly to the Water World of Alibugeria III.

• The Alien Buggers: These aren't normal beetles. They are heavy, armored, and walk like they are used to Super-Earth gravity.

The Gridiron Connection

The only upside to this infestation is the scouting potential. I’m pretty sure the Nocturnis Mafia and the Families of Nocturnis are already trying to sign these bugs to a contract for the Bayou Beetles. If you saw how hard it is to crush one of these Alibugerian beetles, you’d understand why they are the new Defensive Line for the Trident League.

Strategic Response

Uncle Bill is keeping the fire going and looking at me like I’m a plague victim. "Drink the coffee, Cap," he said. "And stop analyzing the roaches. If they start asking for voting rights, I'm getting the shotgun."

Meanwhile, Gumbo (The Cypress Bark-Drake) is having the best day of his life. To him, an interdimensional bug invasion isn't a crisis; it’s an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet.

I’m going back under the quilt to fight off these Snot Bugs. The posts might be slow today, but the Captain is still here.

Stay warm, check your drains, and wash your hands.

– Captain Hedges

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Product Identity & Legal The "Year of the Snake" Project, "Alibugeria III," "The Gridiron League," and the "Hedge Wizard of the Shreveport Cabin" persona are Product Identity of Arthur Earl C. Hedges Jr. © 2026.